Monday, 14 February 2011

Hey you guys!

Where do I start?

OK. Back in the Eighties I grew up on the film The Goonies, this film resonates with my childhood in many ways. If you haven't seen it, you must, it's a master class in filmmaking on many levels. For example, the character establishment in the opening sequence is just genius, with added Spielberg magic, each of the Goonies are introduced in a coincidental comedy scene as the narrative follows the Fratellis* in a getaway car chase with the police.

I'll now get to the point. The film features a disfigured man called Sloth, where in an extremely sentimental and emotional scene he shares a Baby Ruth chocolate bar with the character Chunk.

After 20 years of wondering what a Baby Ruth taste like, I managed to get my hands on one of these chocolate bars. Dog Shit Piss. Thanks Nestle, why don't you just fuck off. Cunts.

It's sometimes best to leave the fantasy as the reality never tastes as good. The chocolate was not real chocolate, like most American sweets or Candy, as they call it. It was just like a Hurshey Bar but more of an anti-climax. How are these brands so successful when they make such pointless products? I'm so angry. I really am. It's as rubbish as an HD Ready TV.

* The Fratellis are the bad guys, not the band, although the band were named after these characters

1 comment:

  1. I agree. My only experiences of American chocolate have left me with an after-taste of mild cheese/off milk and the opinion that I wouldn't even feed the stuff to a dying dog. Fuck off back across the pond America.