Thursday, 24 November 2011


I've just had a sexy romantic meal with my Müller Corner (Blueberry). I remember when these beasts were let loose in our supermarkets in the late 80s and people went wild for the pointess act of adding your own fruit compote, so much fun, like those crisps with a packet of salt. You were a cool kid if you had either of these in your lunch box. But if Müller really want to cash in, all they need to do is make a mini version. Sorry the cynic in me is taking over. But people really are stupid cunts. Mini Cheddars, mini Mars bars, mini Jaffa cakes = massive cunts.

Anyway I was one of those stupid cunts who lapped up the USP of the yogurt's quirkily designed pot. I fucking loved them. But it's been a while, am I still a fan?

So a I lit a glade scented candle and made this a real CHD, as those people* thought Corner yogurts were a little on the posh side. I was actually a little nervous as I was reunited with this old friend, like meeting up with an old girlfriend, if one can imagine that situation. As expected we were both a little shy to begin with, so I gently peeled back the foil and slowly licked the yogurt off her lid, a friendly greeting to break the ice. It tasted good. So straight to foreplay I went, and began spooning the Blueberry compote into the yogurt and created some flirtatious marbling. So sexy. Then we just went for it. You can imagine the rest.

* We all know who those people are!

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