Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Good bye, and fuck off.

A Scoffy Egg: Dyslexic food writer, acclaimed for his rants about food and all things cunty

A scoffy Egg, who wrote drunken opinions every few weeks has fallen from his roost and is now dead. His ridiculous blog posts were read by many, appreciated by few. Rather than being remembered for his eloquent way with words, he will be better known for his writing technique of; write drunk, edit drunker (Ernest Hemmingway's theory was blown out of the water like a 500lb Marlin).  

His reviews and rants about food establishments were all really a bit of fun and jest, with his tongue firmly stuck between a pair of chubby spanked cheeks. Obviously there was an element of truth in the tale, but nothing really malicious. I just hope his style of extreme blogging can help the food industry become a better place, but anyone who has enough time on their hands to write a fucking food blog should not be taken seriously. The worst cunts are the cunts who write on Trip Advisor, it's about as useful as the star rating on Amazon, where stupid fucking people give a pair of headphones 1 star because Royal Mail failed to deliver their product. That's like giving a restaurant 1 star because the taxi didn't turn up and the reservation was lost. So with old Scoffy gone there is one less cunt in this world, but cunts do come in all shapes and sizes, but the worst kind are the stupid fucking cunts. And sometimes they come in bunches.

With 100 blog posts under his ever expanding belt, Scoffy has left a crater in the blogging world, but no doubt this will be filled with other amateur writers bursting into the land of blogging like a load of bullshit in a china shop. These Roosters begin with some loud crowing and an agressive jazzy waltz, but it doesn't take long before they end up spit-roasted and tired of their own voice. A Scoffy simply ended up a pickled egg, although he was sour and a little lowbrow, he is preserved and ready to enjoy with a pint of ale and a packet of your favourite flavoured crisps.

Cause of death is still unknown, most probably gout. I understand that his last words were something like "Cunt-a-doodle-doo!". 

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