Saturday, 4 December 2010

Fruit not Flowers

Being a bloody beer-drinking bloke I require logic for something to make sense. So I don’t really understand flowers, apart from the fact they look pretty, sometimes smell nice and most importantly, bees make honey from the pollen & nectar (this is only with natural wild flowers as fertilised flowers can kill bees and cut flowers do bugger all). Anyway, my point being - as I’ve now become an opinionated prick, which wasn’t my point from the outset of starting this blog -  is that  fruit can serve a better function. Fruit looks nice, smells nice and has helped the little bees when it was just a piece of blossom and putting all that aside you can eat the fruit. And vegetables are even better. There is a very true speech from Wihhnail and I, where uncle Monty describes flowers as being “simply tarts; prostitutes for the bees” and he thinks “the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium”. So when I die, please pile lots of fruit & veg on my grave, and then eat it.

My girlfriend bought this sprout tree for about 70p, far more interesting than a morbid lily, and I got eat it.  There is a certain 'je ne sais quoi' about a firm, young carrot!


  1. Presumably you are aware that without flowers there would be no fruit, so there is a point to them.

  2. Get an allotment, then you can be in fruit heaven. And you can even grow some flowers too, just to make it look pretty...