Saturday 20 August 2011

Double Locks

What could be more pleasant than cycling the picturesque path along the Exeter canal on a beautiful summer evening, then to have a spot of supper at the famous Double Locks pub?


Well personally I can think of nothing better. I've had some great times at the Double Locks, it has a huge garden, plenty of seating beside the canal, a volley ball court, a BBQ, lots of local cask beers and sometimes live bands. But, yes there's a but, always a but. The Double just sucks ass. Suck shitty anus. Sucks prolapsed diarrhoea warty anus.


Where do I start. Well the clientele is a good indication on whether something is good or to your taste, the pub on a normal day attracts normal people, dog walkers, cyclists, but on any sunny weekend or bank holiday they come like flies on shit. We all know the sort of people, the sort who get sunburnt and get really shit faced, but these people don't neglect their kids, they just bring them along and shout at them.


http://www.jonathanbriggs.com/photo-blog/the-double-locks-pub-exeter,476,AR.html
Not my picture.




The other big issue with the Double Locks is the food. The lady and I both found the menu so uninspiring we ended up ordering a Jacket Potato. That is on a par with ordering a Panini. The redeeming quality of the pub is it's beer list, but when I went to order a pint of St Austell Tribute, the barrel was empty so I ordered a Bath Ale but that wasn't ready and needed to settle. So it was a pint of Grolsch Blond, which is a massive anticlimax as it turns out to be the same as normal Grolsch larger except it's not 5%, it's 4%, and certainly not a Blonde or White beer. The pub was taken over by Youngs in 2001 and has steadily gone downhill since then. Exeter's City Gate is also owned by Youngs, but always manages to deliver a great range of beers.


For a long time now the Double Locks has always been a rubbish version of the Turf Locks, which is situated just a few more miles down the Exeter canal. There was something about the whole experience that was so depressing, as the sun was going down we couldn't see any sunset and it just got very cold. The pub just felt dead, everyone looked depressed, it would have been more fun if the CHD people were hanging around with there sunburnt bodies, cunt kids and tattoos. The lady at one point said "Is there anything we can do to turn this evening around" and I replied "Yeah, we can turn around, and go home". So we did, and picked up a cheap Tempranillo and some giant cookies from the Co-Op and watched a crap film in bed. Then we both turned around and fell asleep. The End.

1 comment:

  1. Co-op Chocolate Brazil Nut Cookies by any chance?

    They're so good I could stuff a whole box up my anus and eat them backwards.

    ReplyDelete